


in which sami goes to heaven

by blackettle



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Could be not, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, could be gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:38:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackettle/pseuds/blackettle
Summary: kevin isn’t a good guy. not at all. though, sami isn't a good guy either.-- set a few moments after hell in a cell.





	in which sami goes to heaven

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic timeline is basically established during the week after summerslam to hell in a cell. now, you can read this as toxic or not as sami could only see stuff from his point of view and will disorientate it to match what he thinks as good and bad which is ironic because while many think sami as a pure babyface-- he is pretty much in the gray though his actions tends to lean on white instead of black. this was inspired by the neighborhood --wires. also, i just find it funny that even i, the creator, doesn’t know what sami views kevin vice versa.

_ Stop, stop it now _ . Why does the audience cheer for him? Why does the audience boo him? Of course, he doesn’t want to hear the echo of silence-- because that’s simply worse. Consider it as a sin: you must get a crowd reaction always. You have to please the fans. You have to make the fans feel something even when you’re feeling completely worse. Even when you know that what you’re doing may or may not be a good thing. 

Did they expect him to accept what was the inevitable for Kevin Owens? Sure, Kevin is a dumbass-- an immature, irrational, arrogant  **_bastard_ **  ,but to see continue making the same damned mistakes? It’s hard to watch. It’s hard to portray the role of an uncaring **_bastard_ ** who would rather see his best friend --  _ remember it’s former or maybe not _ , lying in debris. How could he watch his best friend get hurt physically and suffer emotionally and mentally for impending defeat? While, Kevin may not agree and may have not given the consent to get involved-- 

_ he should be able to understand, right? he’ll understand that the words never had to be said, that only the gazes of hazel and steel could be enough to tell a story of their own, right? oh, how many stories they could be able to tell of black choking out white, stories they can tell about white embracing black. the perfect set. _

It wasn’t well-thought either. It was pretty lame actually, it would be something that steel eyes would have scolded him for.  _ And _ it wouldn’t be pretty. Nothing about Kevin is pretty. He’s hard and rough. Edges that bruise and cut. It makes Sami bleed each and every time. Some are sure to mock him due to this. How does one come back to the person who had beaten you bloody? How does one come back to the person who licked everyone’s blood and laughed like a maniac? Only a masochist would do that. Then again, what did they know? Assumptions and more assumptions as if they knew a story that continues to be written on a day to day basis. They know nothing. How would they know of a _ friendship _ that was built on **_love_ ** , sweat and tears? 

If Sami had a chance and choice, this would not be his soulmate. This would not be his forever. Who chooses to be live and bear sorrow and coldness? It’s always too damn cold around Kevin. Nearly unapproachable and maybe a lifetime ago he would embraced it all and suck onto any sort of warmth that he would have offered but now-- times have changed. Though, every time Kevin attempts to convince him, even if it’s to just win the match-- those little milliseconds are worth it all. The way steel eyes soften and crinkle the slightest bit, hands clenching and unclenching; almost as if he’s aware that he’s belittling himself to talk to sunshine. 

_ Must hurt _ , Sami guesses in silence. 

Of course, when someone hasn’t seen the sunlight for too long, he guesses that’s why Kevin’s eyes dilate a fraction as soon hazel meets steel. For what other reason could it be? The comparison is always a taunting and mocking towards the ginger so maybe Kevin had started to believe in that too. Soon enough, the euphoria disappears-- _ oh, when had it appeared _ ? And all Sami is left with is sharp fangs and stubby fingers willingly themselves, not to throttle that sunshine which seems to reject him for the greater good of the world. 

"----------- _ The more I thought about every rotten thing you ever done to me and every time you stabbed me in the back, so I really do hope you get help because you're going to need it tonight but you're not getting it from me. _ ”

Eyes that once twinkled disappeared. The mischief and the potential manipulation halts. Chubby cheeks that were held high with the little smile vanish just as quick. Instead his lips purse and harsh breaths escape his lips. Innocent eyes sharpen and narrow and that’s when Sami  **_knows_ ** . He knows his act better than anyone else. He knows and could see the manipulation right through that act. Kevin baits him with promises that Sami would never want to deny and you know what, maybe there would be a pay off at the end of it. Kevin sweetens the deal so perfectly. The ideal apology. Keeping up the arrogance he had always had yet admitted his faults. Desperately wanting the sunlight back into his life without saying the words. Here’s the thing, Kevin never needed Sami. Sami wanted and needed Kevin. 

Sami never feels more pathetic than now. Hazel hues meet steel hues; oh, those eyes make him want to drown. The darkness is so appealing. Darkness runs away from the light while the light will run towards the darkness. Nothing is more pathetic than that. It’ll also be the first time that Sami will running away. To flee and not be clouded by the darkness. 

Though, every minute hurts. It hurts to watch it all. Forever doesn’t include rejection. Forever by each other’s side or as enemies and though, Sami probably just made himself enemy #2-- there was something just not right about it. He wants to rake his fingernails up and down his arms. His nerves are too jittery and his nerves are too excitable. He’s sure it’s the goosebumps that trail on his skin though he doesn’t talk about it. 

Matter of fact, there's a bit of regret flashing by eyes and the sparkle dims even Kevin scowls and hoots. His heart  _ hurts _ and when things  _ hurt _ , he runs. He speeds through the conversation and for the first time, his hands are calmed and relax. They don't look as animated as they usually were and the only movements are when he drops the referee shirt on Kevin’s shoulder. They both watch it fall and when he looks back all he could see is a predator snarling at him. His hands drop and squeeze and disappears-- he  _ longs  _ for the touch again.

It's shameful because how could one long for an animal's touch? Or rather long for the animal’s affection? It's all generic and poetic bullshit anyways and Kevin would have a giant laugh at how funny Sami was being. A sure lack of humor, but he shrugs. That died. 

In a sequence of events, Kevin loses. Not so surprisingly but steel eyes are filled with a rush of rage and bloody murder. He hasn't seen a look that in years, in so very long. Frankly, it's concerning and he knows Shane is going to bite more than he can chew because Kevin is always angry but he’s a bloody murderer when the situation calls for it. _ Hell,  _ he’s been through the same. He had since Kevin lick his blood as if it was  **_intoxicating_ ** . The sight of it while intriguing shoots fear down his belly. Butterflies. 

It’s sad though, Kevin will-- at least not for a very long while will have an opportunity at the title and it’ll be longer for him to hold it again. Shane promises he would not get involved if Kevin hadn’t done anything and while a crotch shot can be considered something; he comes and distracts before it. It becomes personal from there. Maybe Sami should have been the referee, he would have been a fair referee and somehow that Shane can trust. No one would have given him an ‘If’ or a ‘But’ then, now could they? Nonetheless, he remains seated, pretending that he was paying more attention to his  _ friends _ than the match. They don’t know that in the corner of Hazel hues, he is watching the match more intently. 

It doesn’t get better in the next few weeks either. Kevin seems to break and twist into something malicious as the time continues to past. As his frustration grows, Kevin becomes more dangerous. Every Tuesday it gets more personal, it becomes worse and worse. He watches it all. Some of the people backstage laugh as finally Kevin Owens is getting what he deserves-- he joins in too. And he laughs and laugh until his voice cracks and Vince McMahon is left in a bloody heap in what is called the travesty and journey of Kevin Owens.

_ This is dangerous _ , Kevin is attacking everyone in his way and while one might think that it’s a regular move. It’s not. He had seen Kevin act like this so very few times. Beating a man up and beating him to a bloody pulp are two different things. He remembers  _ that  _ clearly well _. Ladders and blood all over. Finger prying on the mask that hid him from the world. Using every little trick in the book. Licking  his blood.   _ It’s growing to that potential and while anyone can drag that out of him--- Shane is doing it for all the wrong reasons. Shane is not the good person here. What is he fighting for? His family? Would he rather walk away? Shane is making a bad decision and Kevin--

Kevin is just Kevin. There’s no reason to talk to him. He’ll just be in more pain for no reasons.

Then again, he always finds himself nearly beaten raw a few weeks after this thought. He asks for it too, he’s embarrassed by that. Who basically asks to be nearly murdered by Kevin Owens? No one does. No one who is sane at least but maybe, he could try to understand. He doubts he could bring him back to reality but he doubts it. He just wants to know. Is Kevin heading to the front lines of war or a battle? He proves it by powerbombing him in the hardest and strongest part of the ring. 

Everything blackouts from there. He loses consciousness. He shivers and shakes. For a few moments, he is stunned and barely able to see any move across his eyes expect the little ducks quacking over his vision. They should stop. Though, the ducks are pretty darn cute.  It’s unfortunate that they vanish from his eyes just a bit too quick and his eyes roll back just like the Undertaker just to see Kevin’s somber face. Oh, what had happened to make him so sad? Did Sami do something to make him sad? He wants to  _ fix _ it. Sorrowful and concerned eyes gaze at the ginger in worry but it vanishes quickly to anger. Righteous fury. 

The rest Sami doesn’t remember. He vaguely remembers his neck being constricted, being dragged away and falling down. Was he choked out? Did a chair slam against his back and then he fell? Something about that doesn’t trigger much memories and he drops it entirely. The medics drag him away and briefly Sami wonders if Kevin is okay. It’ll be the first time Sami sees unquestionable rage directed to someone that’s not himself. That doesn’t sit well with him. It should be them that has **_that fire_ ** . Kevin hasn’t even glanced at him, they always met each other eyes at the most crucial moments but he’s getting nothing from him.

 

_ That’s fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.  _

 

No, Sami is not hissing or boiling in rage. Frankly, it’s a well-deserved break from all the heat but he longs for that moment when he is alone. He can admit to himself that he’s craves some sort of touch, some sort of look. He craves being the one to bring Kevin towards insanity and bring him back from it. It’s toxic, that makes Sami the bad guy doesn’t it? He thinks this is some sort of a lesson because he begs the both of them to listen to his words. He begs them to stop fighting-- that they need to have consideration for not only themselves. This whole fight shouldn’t be for pride and who is the alpha male. Instead, they shush as if he was nothing but a child.   


He’s not going to stomp away. He’s not.

He does. 

*** * * * ***

When watching Hell in a Cell. He's bitter. He should be on the card; he has given his all and yet, he's not on the card. What had he done to deserve this? He works just as hard as anyone does in the company. He's the good guy. He paid his dues. He made the fans cry and scream in joy-- he took on everything for them and this is his reward? Relaxing in the back? He would have carried the company on his back given the opportunity but no one dares to give him the chance. He must have done something terrible in his past life because everyone is watching the others and not him. They had forgotten all about him and he's the one making everyone happy. He's beginning to grow unhappy with where he is at. 

He can't leave early though he wants to stomp and leave the arena; he can't. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Where does he go from here? He doesn't know. He watches everyone come and go. He watches Kevin walk right pass him without a glance in total silence. Was he invisible? Was he  _that_ invisible? He bites on his lips holding back a scream. Kevin should have wavered. He should have passed him a glance. He gets none of that. 

Shane prepares himself for the match. Sami doesn't go near him.

As the match goes on; he worries for the both of them. He worries for Shane but that depletes ever second that the match goes on. He's the man that is stopping him from achieving his true goals. He's the one who promised him so many opportunities but has yet to receive the big one. Everyone somehow to get involved. It's a battle royal, it's a fatal five-way, it's always something else. His hands trail up and cover his lips-- eyes snapped shut and he chokes a sob. He loses everything all at once. Right before his eyes, everything is lost if he doesn't do something about it. Some of the other wrestlers look at him; eyes drifting from worry and back to the match. They think he is worried about Kevin and in some sort of sense, it's true but that's not the reason why. 

Kevin is everything he wants to have and be. This is his grande stage. It could be his swan song but at least he could say that he had gotten everything he had wanted. On the day that Sami Zayn wins the NXT title, Kevin takes it from him. Kevin takes his debut from him by injuring him. Kevin debuts on the main roster in only a few months on NXT and beats John Cena in his debut match. Kevin becomes the Intercontinental Champion a few months later. Kevin wins the Universal Title the night after SummerSlam. He becomes United States champion not very long after. 

What can Sami say for himself? It took him nearly a year to win the NXT title. Kevin ruins that night for him. Kevin beats him for the title. **Kevins does this, Kevin does that.**

_KevinKevinKevin_

Everything revolves back to Kevin. Kevin was the _beginning_ to him and he'll be the _end_ of him too. 

So, if something burns through Kevin-- it burns through Sami. Kevin is burning; he's falling and that means Sami has to save Kevin from the dreadful splat. He runs down the gorilla position with his hoodie up. He runs but not without a glance of some of the wrestlers passing by him. He runs and watches Kevin fall right down the table. He gets his own headache. He almost collapses. This is what it meant to have a soulmate. 

He keeps running and then his eyes narrow and watches.

Some would say he was waiting for the opportune moment. He's not. He's contemplating in plain sight but as soon as Shane doesn't go for the pin right after-- that's when he realizes that Shane is the monster because by this point, Kevin would have pinned him if it was the other way around right? Shane is the true Devil. _ShaneShaneShane._

He doesn't call it saving Kevin. More like saving his own self. He runs over; his feet almost slipping as he used both of his hands and clasped onto Kevin's cool ones and pulled him out of the way of Shane's fall. There was no reason to use both hands. He just does. He wants to make as much contact as possible. 

He pushes away the medics with a growl nearly slipping from his lips as he pulled Kevin over the debris for the pin.

_1,2,3_

They win. Sami and Kevin win. He stops. He means, **_Kevin wins_**. 

He hears the shouts of anger and the sorrow in the children's eyes. He looks away. He can't look any longer and he vanishes away. His feet drag him away. All these taunts mock him and all he wants to do is cry. He's dragged along this ride now. Not by choice but by instincts. 

So, he waits instead. He waits for Kevin.

And he appears with medics by his side but he shoos them away for  _this._

A glint of worry flashes by his hazel hues and while Sami knows it’s crucial, absolutely crucial for Kevin to never see this-- the damage is beyond done. Kevin knows.  _ He knows, he knows, he knows _ . As soon as the sun-kissed touched porcelain and moved him away from danger-- he knew. It’s going to be used against him. Kevin is going to go after the open wound. He is going to add salt to the wound.  _ It hurts, hurts, hurts  _ .

“There is a perfectly reasonable explanation to this.  _ That _ wasn’t supposed to happ--”

Porcelain hands wrapped themselves around sun-kissed skin and it leaves him breathless. Instinctively, Sami flinches at the warm touch that Kevin seems to radiate off. He’s as hot as furnace. That’s concerning and Sami should probably yank those arms off of him and tell him off. End their ties for another chapter in the future. They both need a break from each other and though Sami always finds his way back to Kevin; vice versa, they both need just a few months that while glares can be shot at each other-- at least face to face confrontations can take a deserving hiatus. 

It depresses him but, it’s the healthiest viable option, right?

His beard stubble rakes Sami’s neck and _ that _ brings him back to reality. Was he---? Kevin is actually nuzzling him and of course while it’s irritating Sami’s skin and would probably lead his skin to inflamed; he can’t let the words slip out of his mouth.  Instead, his fingers creek toward the male’s chest and for a moment-- it’s only them two in the world. No one else but them. His fingers clench and squeeze onto the male’s shirt in desperation. The only thing he can feel is Kevin’s stubble and sweat-slicked skin. He latches onto that. The only thing he can see is cool steel bore into hazel hues. All he can hear is the crinkle of Kevin’s t-shirt between his fingers and the shallow breaths that Kevin continues to exhale. It’s disgusting that he’s inhaling and exhaling through his mouth but somehow he doesn’t have the voice or the words to critique him. 

Hazel eyes flutter shut without warming and inhales that musky smell that only Kevin can give off. He breathes that all in. It’s particularly disgusting that trapping himself with the scent and sweat of the other male but this is the only place that he could imagine being in and being with. The world is silenced. While, he could bet that the medical personnel are waiting by to carry/walk Kevin back-- they wouldn’t dare to interrupt such a precious moment. For once, he’s thankful.

“You  **_did_ ** good.  _ Je ne pouvais pas le faire mieux moi-même _ .” It’s the first words that Kevin had spoke to him that wasn’t filled with maliciousness. Secretly, Sami relishes it. _Oh_ , how sweet a tongue could be especially in another language, a language that only the two can share, but his eyes are sharp and still untouchable. Always the eyes of the predator as if Sami leaned just a bit too much he would without a doubt in his mind would be eaten alive. A bloody mess. Though, maybe there’s a bit of warmth in them. Maybe. o

They hide in the language of French. He can tell that people are glancing at them with a hint of disgust and interest. Why Sami, why? Warm eyes stare back at steel ones’ and he blows a puff of air back to the male’s face. A sign of affection and exasperation.  “ _ Je connais. Tu n'aurais pas tout fait, _ ” He snaps back but there’s no real heat trailing along. The burden still weighs on his shoulders and while he could pretend that everything is fine and that the affection is permanent and they could finally be _ friends  _ again-- he knows that friendship like theirs’ is nothing permanent. They will fight soon enough on opposite sides. They will make each other bleed and scars would soon too come. Breathless whispers soon to come as  **_Sami_ ** and  **_Kevin_ ** .

“ _ Tu as bien fait _ .” And that’s the end of the that, Sami and Kevin both know that. As much as Sami hates to end a moment that would never happen again; he can relish everything now. It will never happen again. He’ll deal with the whispers of hate and disgust and maybe-- just maybe they will fight the fight on the same side but that’s for another time to deal with. There’s no doubt about that as soon as Kevin grabs the base of his neck and pulls him even further. Their foreheads are touching and their breaths are fanning against one another. They are calling attention to themselves yet but they don’t care. How can they? The seconds seem to be at a stand-still where Sami’s own eyes seem to dilate with a daze clouding around his eyes. Euphoria clouding his judgement and he knows this, it’s embarrassing and he’s not going to admit anytime soon but he’s pretty sure that Kevin can see the truth. For a moment, he thinks maybe Kevin is feeling the same as he could feel his heart thumping against his chest. 

He takes a breath; a one, last final sniff before pulling away. His lips curl before they part into a wide and shining grin. Pearly white shining like the true sunshine and sunlight that everyone described him to be.

“ _ Tu sais ce qu'il y a de mieux _ .” 

Kevin lips curls as well, but on his face it looks mocking and taunting before he turns away. Sami doesn't remember if he thanked him or not but it probably doesn't matter. Kevin will continue to  **_take_ ** and  **_take_ ** and Sami will continue to  **_give_ ** and  **_give_ ** .

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please drop a kudos or a comment. these really make me happy and i may just write a whole guardian au for kevin and sami so if you wanna hear the updates on that go follow me on tumblr: @kcnnymega.
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
> Je ne pouvais pas le faire mieux moi-même --- I could not do it better myself.  
> Je connais. Tu n'aurais pas tout fait. --- I know. You would not have done it all.  
> Tu as bien fait. --- You did well.  
> Tu sais ce qu'il y a de mieux. --- You know what's best.


End file.
